You Can’t Put Your Own VALUES On Other People

You Can’t Put Your Own VALUES On Other People

Something I came to a complete understanding, or I should say acceptance, with during this year.

Do you remember this guy? For you that have been following me for more than four years through my Social Media accounts, probably recognize Jon. I met Jon at the grocery store Ralph's, where he worked behind the cheese counter. Always very cheerful and friendly. I decided to ask him one day, at the beginning of 2017, if he would be interested in starting training with me a couple of times per week and looking over his food intake. At no cost. This was through the BE THE CHANGE Project I was doing, taking on clients for free to help them on their health journey.

I wanted to help this guy. To put my VALUES, regarding Life & Health in general, on to Jon.  It started well. We had double sessions weekly for four weeks. Hiking Runyon Canyon together, doing more comfortable bodyweight movements, finding exercises that he managed to do, etc. After our first workout, I gave Jon 2 tasks to report back to me with:

1. To start to log his food intake every day. After one week, he managed only to log the food for one day. Obviously, the most important thing was not the food logging, but that he was actually eating the right food. He was honest and open about everything he ate, even when he "failed" and chose a less better option.

2. Second was to weigh himself to see his exact weight and what we were working with. This was Feb 2017, and the last time he went on a scale before that was a year before, when he weighed 320 lbs. He thought he probably weighed around 350 lbs now. I was on him daily to remind him of stepping on the scale, and finally, after a week, he weighed himself, and it showed 369.4 lbs—a lot of resistance from his side.

He stepped on the scale 18 days later, and it showed 354.4 lbs. I was so happy that he was making this progress!

The next thing was to make sure he went to the doctor and get an Annual Check-Up, Physical Exam, and Blood Work. He had a great Health Insurance through Ralph's, but here again, I had to remind him daily to make that appointment. After around two weeks, he finally made that Dr's appt, only to go to the wrong Doctors Office. I don't know if that was the real answer or if it was something else. Maybe he was afraid of what the results would say? I don't know. It didn't matter, I was on him again to make that appt, but it never happened. Once again, a lot of resistance from his side.

And the more our training faded away and ran out in the sand...

Even though I stopped coaching him, he always came straight up to me and hugged me every time I went into Ralph's, and we chit chatted for a bit.

Today October 5th is the anniversary of his death. Jon died of a Heart Attack a year ago at the age of 27. I found out a month later that he had passed away.

Since I heard the devastating news, I have been thinking a lot about: What more could I have done for him? Could I have saved him? I so wanted him to take on at least some of my VALUES! At least, just enough for him to start walking in the right direction on this long journey to a healthier life.

But the answer is sadly, NO. You can't force that shit on to someone. No matter how inspiring, motivating, and great you are, they have to have some sort of ignition inside themselves. Period.

You can't put your own VALUES on to somebody else. RIP compadre.

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