Anne & Leigh started as two Online Coaching Clients 7,5 months ago (still are) and became two very close and dear friends to Vevian and me. We wanted to visit them already before we left the US last year. But it wasn't meant to be due to some remodeling of their house.
When I opened up about my suicidal depression last year, Anne contacted me and said that the year before, her then-boyfriend Josh committed suicide because of depression. Something I got very emotionally touched by hearing. This was before Anne and her sister Leigh signed up for my coaching program and before knowing them.
Fast forward to March this year: Vevian and I had booked a trip to Kentucky to spend ten days with Anne & Leigh starting from May 11th. We had a FaceTime with them, and during the call, I mentioned how I need to open up more about my depression. Anne then reminds me during the call that she reached out to me last year about Josh, something I hadn't forgotten at all, but I didn't connect that it was Anne when I started working with her. I was in a bit of shock when she told me. My immediate thoughts were, this is destiny. I had more signs from other situations, telling me I needed to open up more about my depression, but this one was by far the strongest.
On our first night here in Kentucky, we talked about it. Anne still had his ashes in the urn at home, not knowing what to do with them. Still not being able to close this chapter because of a lot of frustration, anger, and unanswered questions that she kept holding onto. I said, let's make this happen, to spread his ashes before we leave. Let's have closure and take care of this.
Just by coincidence, without knowing it before we booked our trip to Kentucky, we found out that the anniversary of Josh's death was May 13th (2019). That we were going to be here during the anniversary was meant to happen. Destiny was calling again.
We had many more deep talks about this, and last Wednesday was the breakthrough. Anne started opening up about all the moments when he was depressed, when he shut off completely, what he did, etc. I could identify myself with everything she said about Josh. All his behaviors. This perfectionist side. It was like looking into a mirror. So scary and painful, but at the same time so alleviating. And the most beautiful thing with all this is that I was able to give her answers. Answers to these why's? These question marks. As much as I helped Anne, she helped me back tremendously. I've never been able to talk to a person this close that has lost a very close person to suicide and depression.
Thursday, the day after, we spread Josh's ashes. I feel like Anne & Josh has passed me the baton, the torch. Time for me to keep on running with it. 🔥
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